No es importante, bebe un...Starbucks?

"No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of Me," saith the LORD." Isaiah 54:17 (21st Century KJV)

How right is this? With everything that is going on, I have been delving deeper into the Word (and the word was God...) Familiars and spectres roam like wolves on the prowl waiting for sheep to look sideways and then attack...but with God it's like having a Shepard hanging out with a 12-gauge waiting for the attack.

"Do you know Jesus?" Bang. I liked that idea.

Soy débil y soy cansado y no sé qué hago

The Lord Is My Light and My Salvation

Of David.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

3 Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.

4 One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.

5 For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

6 And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!

8 You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”

9 Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!

10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.

11 Teach me your way, O Lord,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.

12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.

13 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!

14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!

Psalm 27

Blessed is a man who endures trials, because when he passes the test
he will receive the crown of life that He has promised to those who
love Him.
James 1:12

It is well with my soul. God is...indescribable. I have REAL friends, real ones who care.

From the past we are changed into a better person for tomorrow...

1 John 1:12 I m a child of God

Romans 8:28 I am assured that all things work together for good

Romans 8:1 I am free forever from condemnation.


Romans 8:33 I am free from any condemning charges against me.


2 Corinthians 1:21 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God

Colossians 1:13 I have been delivered from the domain of darkness and transferred to the kingdom of Christ

Philippians 1:6 I am confident that the good work that God has begun in me will be perfected.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

II Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

Hebrews 4:16 I can find grace and mercy in time of need.

1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me

...save a place for me.

Dios Mio

1 Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart. 2 But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3 But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, 4 whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. 5 For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus' sake. 6 For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

8 We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed-- 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death is working in us, but life in you. 13 And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, "I believed and therefore I spoke,"* we also believe and therefore speak, 14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. 15 For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God. 16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:1-18

I am crushed but not destroyed. I will not be defeated. I am downtrodden, but I remain hopeful because I know that Ephesians 6:12 is the epitome of description for current circumstances.

-Dios mio, Immanuel

Spiritual Warfare

The harder the fighter, the weaker they get. Ephesians 6:12 reminds me what is needed in a time such as this.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

All things work together to serve a higher purpose, no matter the difficulty during the time, or what happens surrounding it. I've been blessed in unexplainable ways and I can only pray that I can be blessing to the broken hearted.

Stand in The Rain

"There she was. Standing in the rain. Alone, crying and alone. Everyone passing her, no one noticing...and then I felt it, I felt everything, and she was not alone anymore..."



I picked up a hitchhiker today...
A woman sobbing, rain pouring down, standing on a corner with an empty animal carrier.
She was in her 60's.
Apparently she'd been standing there for some time, just hysterical, people driving by, looking beyond it, pretending not to notice her.
I noticed her.
I felt it.
I felt it all.
I felt it all, I stopped, because I noticed her, and I stopped and held out my hand.
She explained why she was there, why she was alone on a street corner mid-day, in the rain.
She had just come from an animal clinic. Her dog of 5 years, one of two, her only companions, was drowing in his own fluids and she had the choice: bring him home and have him a little longer for herself, or let him go and be pain-free. She chose the latter. She described, tearfully, "Duke's" last moments, with her holding his paw, petting his tri-colored head, telling him how much he meant, how much she loved him...and then he was gone.

I'm not a saint. I'm the farthest from it you will probably meet.
"You're a Discordian Saint"-friend.

?Donde estoy?

Preguntas mucho...

Where am I? Who am I? At least one of those is a fairly relevant and common conundrums in society.


I am not my own, I was bought with a price, and I will not forsake that...for anything, considering the things I've been faced with in my 23 years for those who are aware can attest to that. I've walked through the shadow of death, stopped and stared it in the face, and by the grace of God alone, kept going. I am a firm believer that Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for the good of those are called according to His purpose" plays into every situation, good, bad, and in between, even the miniscule things we bypass and take for granted or ignore, it all has its role.

I'm 23. I "am a senior" in college. I am passionate in pursuing my doctorate. I am a music enthusiast, playing around with vox, bass and acoustic, though novice in all. I once intended to be a medical missionary in Iraq, Brazil and Cuba (pre-9/11 mind you).

I went to a 'magnet' high school (privatized education with public status to which acceptance was required and was not simply a given) majoring in health occupations, four years in a typical high school education, though mine was completed subsequent literally dropping out for almost two years, but still graduating on time, with honors, and an aviation major (yay! I know things about FAA guidelines and basic private pilot licensure!). Varsity soccer from Frosh year, captain of the economics team (beat that Chess nerds!), Web Team (school site) member, yearbook staff, BATS (Benson Auditorium Technical Staff) stage manager and crew member of 4 years, former library assistant, published writer, computer junkie (building, internet, tampering with software and languages), speaking of languages, 4 years invested in Spanish, 1 in Hebrew, 1/2 in French...

Attending OSU for three years...

I have been out for two, supposed return to Warner Pacific this fall...




Though now on hold...to complete my dual-bachelors. Greek mythology enthusiast, member of multiple Christian groups (namely, AG Chi Alpha OSU) and Students for Life (5k crosses represent a day of abortions at 5am is one example of our work. Minoring in chemistry, English and Spanish, I thought I had a good shot at medical school (first choice of OHSU, secondary Baylor) however I do see that as a diminishing chance, but still anticipate completing my formal education, though in reality, the day I stop learning, is the day I die...everything in life should be a lesson, and if it bypasses you, you fail.

5 years from graduation from high school (06/03/04) I am here...where is here?





I've been married


I've fled


I've separated


I've divorced




I am now the lone parent to the most beautiful child I have ever been graced to lay my eyes upon-my sweet angel of 18-months, Lucas Gabriel.




I'm a writer...God-willing, I write.

I'm torn

I'm sewn

I'm seeping

I'm glued together

I'm a sinner

I'm forgiven

I'm a friend to many though few I allow in I'm likely the most stubborn person (except for one specific man who rivals it) the earth has ever encountered

Counterbalanced by my complete outpouring of every ounce of love and compassion I have within me for almost anyone I encounter and anyone I can help and will stop at virtually nothing until my last breath to help people, or at least I like to think it's balanced...

I'm resilient, that much is for sure.

Does God exist? Anymore? Ever?

I hurt with those I love. It's a sixth sense, one I cannot block, nor would i given the chance. I have no doubt it will shorten my life, but whomever I touch during that time, I will know it's worth it.

Failures I can understand. Failure to care I cannot.

More to come, too much overflowing pain, deceit, confusion.